Ice Chip #11

Okay, now we are experiencing the tug-of-war that happens when we want to move forward with our new behavior; however, it feels weird, strange, conflicting.

We have started to re-educate ourselves about removing the “(k)notty words”, however the uncomfortable part is thinking in a new way, and feeling like you are out of sorts.

This is called Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance.  Thinking new, feeling old, with a conflicting aspect—like having static.

When you are experiencing this part of the process of Re-Education, you want to rejoice, because you are nearing a major breakthrough in the process.  You will never be able to take a shortcut and miss out on this experience.  Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance will always be a part of your Re-Education process.

Embrace it.  Be grateful for this step.  It means you are getting closer to making a shift in your behavior. 

As you identify one of the “(k)notty words” to eradicate:  for example, the word:  don’t—be excited about stumbling with making the change.  You are used to using it, and coming up with an empowering alternative is the new part of the process. 

So let’s review.  Your is that yNew Intellectual Insight ou want to change your use of the word “don’t”.  You realize this word is a disempowering one, and you want to stop using it, and replace it with empowering alternatives.  You are realizing through your Converting Practice how to stop and ask “what is it that I would like to have happen?” as an example of coming up with an empowering alternative.

You have used “don’t” thousands of times in your life, and your realization is that you want to stop; however it still feels so natural to say it.

You actually want to have the initially “un-natural’ feeling of using the empowering alternative—realizing that it is a better way to articulate your message.

The “un-natural” part is the Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance and that is the part you want to embrace. 

Work with this over and over.  Stick with it.  We will continue the discussion next week….

I look forward to the next few Ice Chips because they will be coming to you from various stops on my European Tour of speaking and promoting Remember the Ice.  It will be fun to share aspects of my trip with you, my loyal readers.
 
Have a great week.

Best regards,

Bob

April 27, 2009 | Filed Under Ice Chips, RTI | Leave a Comment 

Ice Chip #10

I want to take a moment and thank all of you who read the Ice Chips.  I really appreciate your feedback and comments. 

I also want to welcome several of you who are fairly new to receiving the Ice Chips.  Thank you for joining the Remember the Ice family.  This week is Ice Chip #10, and if you would like any of the previous entries, please let me know in a reply email, and I will be happy to send the ones you may have missed.

Now back to diving into the process of Re-Education.  In the previous two installments, we focused on understanding the four-step process of Education.  One of the critical steps is your conviction to be fully engaged in the process–to be willing to do the necessary steps for learning your new skill.
 

As you make the decision to re-learn speaking without “(k)notty words”, you first must acknowledge that is what you want to do.  (This is your New Intellectual Insight)  

Now comes the step of doing something you have done for years—and doing it in a different way.  Playing with the (k)nots in your language and figuring out how to untie them is the best way to begin.  The focus required serves several purposes.  While you are learning to eliminate confusion from your rhetoric, you’re learning to choose words that create clarity.  You are also learning how and why some words are disempowering, and how to replace them with words and phrases that are empowering instead.

You may recall those bold comments from the previous Ice Chip…..that is because Repetition is the Mother of Skill.

(This is where the Converting Practice starts to take place)

 Focus on developing a New Intellectual Insight of shifting away from the “(k)notty words” and commit to doing what is necessary in your Converting Practice.

So now it may feel a bit weird to be speaking in a new way, because you are used to an old response – hence the confusion.  We will be talking about that tug-of-war in our next issue…… 
 
Have a great week.

Best regards,

Bob


April 20, 2009 | Filed Under Ice Chips, RTI | Leave a Comment 

Ice Chip #9

This week our focus is still on the process of Education.  

My passion centers on the role word choice plays in the effective application of these ice chips.  

Playing with the (k)nots in your language and figuring out how to untie them is the best way to begin.  The focus required serves several purposes.  While you are learning to eliminate confusion from your rhetoric, you’re learning to choose words that create clarity.  You are also learning how and why some words are disempowering, and how to replace them with words and phrases that are empowering instead.

It’s also a fun way to introduce you to the processes of Education and Re-Education so that you can take the information and run with it.  Here is to jogging at a nice pace.
 
Begin thinking about changing one of the (k)notty words, and notice how many times you catch yourself uttering one.  Think about the confusion that you may have caused in your own mind or that of your listener.  How can you shift that and eradicate that weird feeling?

We will address this a bit more next week.  
 
Have a great week.

Best regards,

Bob

April 13, 2009 | Filed Under Ice Chips, RTI | Leave a Comment 

Ice Chip #8

Thank you so much to all of you who sent well wishes on my recent health issue.  I really appreciate the kind sentiment.  Now I would like to get back to the business of sharing the ice chips with you—.

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned we would be focusing on the Process of Education and Re-Education.  When you consider eradicating disempowering words and replacing them with your empowering word choices, it is important to understand the process you are going through.  Let’s focus on the Process of Education in this Ice Chip.

In a nutshell, the process of education includes intellectual insight, practice, and emotional insight, which all bring you to personality trait formation.  Intellectual insight is a fancy way of saying that you understand the theory behind what you want to learn.  Practice is the actual hands-on, or thoughts-on, manipulation of your new tool.  Emotional insight comes when fumbling with the tool transitions to feeling comfortable with a new skill.  Mastery of the skill, or being able to do it automatically, as if you have been doing it for years, is what we call personality trait formation.

(Thank you Dr. Maxie C. Maultsby, Jr., author of Help Yourself to Happiness)

Here is an example of the process of Education:  Learning how to drive a car.

Intellectual Insight:  Deciding to learn how to drive.  Realizing it will take some effort to do it well.  Give me independence.

Practice:  Driver’s Education Classroom Training as well as hands on Driving Training.

Emotional Insight:  Feeling more comfortable about what I am learning; city driving; highway and passing; parallel parking, etc.

Personality Trait Formation:  Being able to drive, talk with passengers, and perhaps take a sip of coffee while driving.

Most of you are very familiar with this activity, and thinking about the process may seem less than exciting.  Consider other skills you know well, and think of this process.

Next week we will focus on the Re-Education Process.  

Have a great week. 

Best regards,

Bob

April 7, 2009 | Filed Under Ice Chips, RTI | Leave a Comment 

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