Ice Chip #12
So now you have a name for those times when you knew you wanted to make a change in your behavior, and felt “strange” doing so.
Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance is becoming a term you are growing fonder of, because you realize more and more, that it is an integral part of the Re-Education Process. You are beginning to embrace it—and that is a good thing.
This process of coming up with empowering alternatives is something you are beginning to enjoy.
As you move through Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance, and have that first experience of: “Yes, I did it. I came up with a more empowering alternative,” you begin to experience New Emotional Insight. You begin to feel comfortable with your new behavior of eradicating “don’t” from your vocabulary.
You use a better phrase: for example; instead of saying to your son or daughter, “Don’t ever do that again,” you reframe your message to be something like, “I want you to stop pulling the dog’s tail.” “That is inappropriate.” “You can pet the dog, otherwise let him be.”
The example shows consideration for the dog, and begins to demonstrate a concept we call Respectful Elegance (doing the next right thing).
You feel better about sharing your message; your child understands the message and stops pulling the dog’s tail; the dog appreciates the new behavior; and it is a win-win-win situation.
The more you feel comfortable with eradicating the word “don’t”, the easier it is to do so. As you begin to master the skill, you become quite adept at it. Soon it becomes almost second nature.
When you reach this point, you have New Personality Trait Formation. You have really elevated your empowering word choice activity to a new level.
Remember that Repetition is the Mother of Skill. You will want to continue to embrace Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance and keep your focus on getting to New Emotional Insight.
So let’s review. Here are your five steps in the process of Re-Education.
New Intellectual Insight
Converting Practice
Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance
New Emotional Insight
New Personality Trait Formation
One of the best books on the subject of the Process of Re-Education is Help Yourself to Happiness by Dr. Maxie C. Maultsby, Jr.
Enjoy the process, and have a great week.
Best regards,
Bob
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2 Responses to “Ice Chip #12”
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Greetings, I love your article. This is a nice site and I wanted to post a little note to let you know, nice job! Thanks Tammy
Thank you Tammy for your interests in Remember the Ice. Bob