Ice Chip #29
QL = QQ
What in the world is this equation? What could he possibly have in mind for this week’s ice chip? What if this was a “formula” that could become an integral part of your beliefs? How could this be?
All of the above are questions. Simple, straight forward questions.
In applying the principles of Remember the Ice, you have read or heard me say, “Those that ask the best questions, get the best answers.”
While in Portugal this past June, I provided a Remember the Ice training for BNI Portugal National Directors, Helder & Sofia Falcao and their team of Assistant Directors. We were involved in a great discussion about the power of great questions, and how paying attention to our articulation within the questions can be very helpful to getting great responses from those you are speaking with or writing to.
Helder said, “Bob, what you are saying is, that the Quality of your Life is based on great questions. Ask better questions and get better answers.” Indeed.
What came from that discussion was this formula:
The Quality of your Life is based on the Quality of your Questions.
For example: “Why can’t you see how that affects me?”
Several things are at work here. (How often does the questioning word “Why?” come across almost in a “whiney” tone?) First of all, remove the (k)not and you have, Can you see how that affects me? Asked if one can, chances are likely the response will be a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.
Mmmm, perhaps another reframing would be better. How about: “What do you think is affecting our relationship at the moment?” “How can we improve our communication to grow our relationship?” These are better questions and offer both parties a chance to pause and reflect on creating a more enhanced relationship. Hence the Quality of Life is improved based on the Quality of the Questions.
It is a simple idea that can have a significant impact on your communication. Remember to focus on your reframing skills and kick those “(k)notty words” out of your vocabulary and out of your life. Your Quality of Life will improve.
Have a phenomenal week,
Bob
P.S. Thank you to all who looked at my new website and offered suggestions. A couple of them have been implemented, such as the calendar (Where’s Bob), and an RTI Community page focusing on supporters and friends of RTI. More to come in the next few weeks, so keep checking it out.
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2 Responses to “Ice Chip #29”
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Excellent work Bob.
This reminds me of the empowering question that begins with the words … How can I?
Example … How can I – get enough exercise this week?
The task then being to quickly write a list of 20 things that pop into my thoughts within 5 minutes. The next step is to select the one answer we think is the best, put a time limit on its completion, take action then reward ourselves on the tasks completion.
After reading your blogs I think the best question I can ask right now is …
How can I – remove the ‘notty words’ from all my conversations?
Answer number 1 – Review Bobs training materials!
Thanks Bob
Martin
My Dear Friend BOB!!
YES!!!
I can remember so many times in which by the quality of my questions my life changed immediately.
For instance:)
At the Check-in.
Good evening. I can see that you guys are really busy here.
I was wondering since I am a frequent flyer if there could be an opportunity of an upgrade to first or business? I know it’s a long 8 hour flight. Can you try and see if your system allows you to?
Good evening. I have been referred to this restaurant from a couple of good friends who come here often. My wife and I would love to have a table near the window. Is it ok if you offer that gift to us?
We really appreciate your effort in finding a great spot for us!
Bob and so many more.
Yes, that is right!
The Quality of Your Life totally depends on the quality of questions you make.
Picture this:
Good evening. I have got no reservation for dinner tonight. You don’t have any table near the window, right?
Answer: NO! Sorry! Please come back later. OK. Thank you! BYE!
What a great program you have compiled together BOB!
Well done!
Take care and please keep on sending us more ICE CHIPS!!!
Hélder