Ice Chip #76

About two weeks ago, I received an interesting question from a new fan of Remember the Ice. Rick Rutledge from Houston, Texas is a long time friend of Mark Taylor, my fellow BNI Director (BNI Houston East) and original host of the Remember the Ice World Book Tour back in October 2008.

Mark made sure Rick received a copy of Remember the Ice and Other Paradigm Shifts and offered that a phone conversation could take place.  I enjoy speaking with folks who are interested in knowing more about utilizing the concepts of empowering word choice, so when Mark suggested I talk with Rick–well, heck yeah!

We had a great conversation about using the concepts.  How easy it is to see and hear the “(K)notty Words” and how at first, it seems to take more words to re-frame the message.  Then with some coaching, it actually becomes more succinct and efficient; because we do a better job of articulating what we would like to have happen.

In addition to being a successful attorney, Rick has a passion for coaching young men in the game of baseball. And we talked about how important articulation is in baseball.

Emphatically, yes!

Here is the email Rick sent on July 15th:

Bob,

Thinking back over “The Mental Game of Baseball” and continuing through your great book, here is the question that keeps coming to mind:

What is the different between a “not” and “no”.  For instance, what is the difference between saying, “No running” and “Don’t run”?

I’d appreciate your comments, or maybe you could include them in an upcoming “Ice Chip”.

By the way, I sent you a request on the web site to get on the email list for the weekly Ice Chips.  I look forward to getting those.

Thank you for considering my question, and have a great day.

Rick Rutledge

Well Rick, here is your Ice Chip and my comments on “No vs. Not“.

In your example, saying “No running” expresses a wish for a specific behavior.  No Running.

No is an appropriate word in many circumstances.  It means a denial, refusal, or negative vote; a decision against something or a rejection of a notion or behavior.

“Don’t run” initially suggests you want someone to stop running and walk instead; or stay put.  However, remember when you remove the “n’t” you are left with:  Do run.

Wait a minute; that is “not” what I wanted you to do.  Oooops!  I did it again.

When you hear someone say:  Remember to focus on what you do want instead of what you don’t want; that is an invitation for word juxtaposition disaster.

It would it in fact be better to say:  Remember to focus on what you do want to do. (Period)  (End of statement)

So when coaching your players on base running for example; if they are in a position to score from second base on a ball hit in the gap, have your third base coach wave them home, and perhaps say, “run hard”, or “dig for home”.

If you think the outfielder has a bullet-like throwing arm, then hold your arms up as a stop sign and tell your base runner to “hold-up” and motion for him to stop.  Or simply say over and over, “Stop at third”.

The number one way to incorporate the concepts of Remember the Ice is to remind yourself to speak about what you want to have happen.

Tell me what you want me to do.

It was a pleasure visiting with you Rick.  Hope the rest of the readers enjoy this Ice Chip as well.

Empowering Regards,

Bob

Books Are Fun! / Book Fair / Providence Hospital – Valdez, Alaska

Book signing and speaking event at the Books Are Fun! Book Fair at Providence Hospital in Valdez, Alaska  Bob will be in Valdez from August 11-13.

Books are Fun! is renowned for offering the world’s best hardcover books, gifts and educational products at savings of up to 80% off retail prices.  Our book fairs and book displays have become known as “North America’s Most Popular Employee Event,” supplying innovative, premium quality products to corporations, schools, hospitals, and early learning centers throughout the United States.

In addition to their corporate sponsors, Books Are Fun! is proud to support Alaska State Schools by donating free books to each school library.  Books Are Fun! also donates 10% of the proceeds of each event to the sponsoring entity’s favorite charity.

Books Are Fun! is brought to you by Pandemonium Booksellers in Wasilla, Alaska.  If you are interested in scheduling a date, please call 907-376-3939 and ask for the Books Are Fun Corporate Division.

Email them at:  baf@akbookstore.com

Visit their website for current updates of upcoming events:  www.alaskabooksarefun.com


Ice Chip #75 Special Anniversary Edition

Happy Anniversary!!!

At 10:07 in the morning on July 23rd in that hot Phoenix, Arizona summer of 1991; I walked into a convenience store on Northern Avenue.  My mission was to meet with Rick the manager and share an idea about increasing his ice sales.  Click on here to read that simple, yet paradigm shifting story.  It turned out to be the birth of Remember the Ice. — and both the story and concept have been sizzling ever since!!  The book is now in 35 countries and all across America.  Thank you!!

At 10:07AM (Alaska Time) today; Friday, July 23, 2010, I was on the phone with a former CNN journalist talking about Remember the Ice, and he was introducing me to a major Speaker’s Agency.  What a paradigm shift.  More information on that story as it develops.

Today is a special celebration of my passionate love affair with eradicating “(K)notty Words” out of the English Language.  (With the help from translators we will be working with other major languages, I.E., Spanish, Dutch, French, Chinese, Portuguese, etc.)

Whether you are visiting this site for the first time, or are a long time fan of Remember the Ice, I send you heart-felt thanks for your support and interest.  Thank you to the hundreds of you who have purchased my book.

As a special gift, I am giving all who come to the RTI store on the site, a special $14.95 price on the hard copy of the book.  That is a savings of 25%.  There is also a special $22.95 price, also a 25% savings, on the Audio Book – comprised of 4 CDs with the author reading his work!  (The normal shipping will be in addition based on rates in the RTI Store.)

Each copy will be personally signed and shipped by USPS Priority Mail with Delivery Confirmation.

Get your special Anniversary Gift

from Remember the Ice.

Ice Chip #74

As I was thinking about a subject for this week’s Ice Chip, I reflected back on the first half of the year.  The main thought was, “How was I doing with my New Year’s Resolutions?”

Are you smiling because you know you are fully engaged with your initial goal?

Has your language shifted as you think about how you are doing?

Personally I am smiling because I know I embrace my two resolutions enthusiastically on a moment by moment basis.

My personal resolutions are simply stated:

  • Continue to raise the bar on empowering word choice by eradicating the “(K)notty Words” constantly.
  • QL=QQ   Ask better questions consistently because the Quality of my Life is based on the Quality of my Questions.

I remind myself of these two tasks daily, because I am reminded of the phrase:

  • Repetition is the Mother of Skill

Here is a blast from the past as we take a mid-year look at our resolutions.

Ice Chip #47 January 12th

So here we are; less than two weeks into the new year and I have a question for you.  Did you make some New Year’s resolutions?

Actually, I have a couple more questions.

How are you doing with them?  Make more than one?  How about the popular one:  This year I am losing weight!! (Remember to release the weight.  If you lose it, you might find it later.)

Back to the self-talk.

Over the past year we have been focused on eradicating “(k)notty words” because of the impact they have on our conversations with family members, clients, co-workers, friends and anyone else who is important to us.

Well, we spend more time in thoughts and conversation or self-talk with-you guessed it:  ourselves, than anyone else.

So when it comes to these resolutions, commitments, promises, etc; what kind of self-talk are you wrapping around this goal you have set?

Example:

“I want to lose weight because I can’t fit into my clothes. I don’t have the money to buy any new clothes, so I have to lose it.  NOW!”

Wow; what a disempowering set of messages to have as self-talk.

How about this articulation instead?

“I want to release 160 ounces over a 4 week period so I can enjoy the clothes I have and look forward to adding some new ones as I experience more success this year.  I like having a focused, empowering attitude about releasing weight.”

As you continue with pursuing your resolution, make sure to raise the bar on your self-talk and reap the rewards of empowering word choice.

Words mean things!  You might as well choose the most empowering ones you can.

Have a great week.  And I hope you are on track with your initial endeavors

Empowering regards,

Bob


Ice Chip #73

A lite effort has nothing to do with calories.

In Episode 162 of the Official BNI Podcast, founder Dr. Ivan Misner commented on receiving “an e-mail from someone who wanted to get the benefit of BNI without actually attending the weekly meetings. This is like wanting to win an Olympic medal without having to go through exhaustive physical training. None of us can do less and get the same results.”

“In the early days of BNI, experiments showed that chapters that met twice a month passed 52% fewer referrals than chapters that met once a week.”

“There is no lite version that gives you all the benefits with less work. Only BNI members who dedicate themselves to following BNI’s proven structure will achieve the optimum results and the maximum referrals. If you want to be a master of networking, “Avoid doing it litely, go full strength.”

He goes on to describe the importance of ethos, principles and the well-structured weekly meetings as the basics and fundamentals.  “If we start taking apart fundamental portions of the program and expect the same results, we’re fooling ourselves.”

He wraps up his comments with these thoughts. “There is no diet version, or BNI Lite, version that gives you all the benefits with less work. Only BNI members who dedicate themselves to actively following BNI’s proven structure are the ones who achieve the optimum results and the maximum referrals.”

As many of you are reading this Ice Chip, I will be attending my regular meeting of the BNI Crucial Links Chapter in Anchorage @ 7:00AM.  What a great way to start my day.

(Please click here to listen and read Dr. Misner’s complete Podcast.)

As a member/Assistant Director of BNI who has attended over 2500 meetings since starting in 1989, I can say definitively;  “there is no lite version of BNI.”

Just as there is no lite version of eradicating “(K)notty Words” from both your written and spoken word.  This task is one requiring a concerted, persistent and consistent effort.  The pay-off is having a message that speaks clearly to your reader/listener.

To paraphrase Dr. Misner’s comments:  There is no lite version to Remember the Ice that gives you all the benefits with less work.  Only those students who embrace the concept and decide to utilize empowering word choices regularly will have the optimum results of enhanced clarity in their articulation.

Remember to focus on speaking what you would like to have happen, while being mindful of Respectful Elegance; Congruency between your Word Choice and Physiology; and wrap it all up with a Framework of Rapport.

Thank you Dr. Misner for your timely Podcast.  It has a powerful message that extends far beyond BNI.  (I did offer some articulation proofing to the message here in the Ice Chip.)

The next focus of Remember the Ice…..

Customer Service/Exceptional Care is an Employee initiative.

Question.  How is this being carried out by your employees in your company?

If you would be interested in knowing more about implementing Remember the Ice concepts to raise the bar for your employee based Exceptional Care program; simply email me:  bob.nicoll@remembertheice.com and let me know you would like more information on this exciting program.

Keep your focus on what you want to create, and attract the result by using empowering word choice as your strategy and model.

Have an empowering word choice week,

Bob

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