Ice Chip #53

Developing your Thesaurus of Empowering Words….

(Or letting go of another type of weight!)

Okay.  So you have been introduced to this idea of eradicating the “(k)notty words”.  You like it.  You know it makes sense.

Yet there is the confusing part of knowing what you want to say, and listening to yourself verbalize the “old version” of your comments.  You catch yourself, and get a bit frustrated.

Good!

This is that Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance “thing” coming into play.  If you have been following my pieces of ice; when you see red, the item is being highlighted as something to stay away from – to avoid.

When it is in blue, you want to move toward it. Yes, Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance is something you want to have happen.  It is the key to understanding how to incorporate empowering word choice into your word choice exercise regimen.

“(K)notty Words” are like that excess weight you want to release, extract, remove, eradicate, and just get rid of.

Recently, one of my coaching clients remarked, “Bob, the “(k)notty words” weigh me down.  When I reframe them, get rid of them and use the re-framing five, there is a big difference in my message.”

In addition to changing the language, there are the shifts in posture, breathing, eye movements; your overall physiology.  Your body language begins to fall in line with your word choice.

Remember when you may have heard me talk about how many people verbalize “yes”, yet their physiology is saying “no”  (the shaking of one’s head from side to side, when they really want to emphasize the affirmative.)  Talk about Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance.  Here is where you really want to make the shift and breakthrough the veil of incongruence.

Your exercise is simply this.

When you want to say something affirmative.  Have your physiology follow suit.

And keep developing your re-framing words.  Write them down.

If you have a question about a phrase and are wondering how to re-frame it, send it to me.  bob.nicoll@remembertheice.com

Enjoy your workout.  These are great exercises.

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And here is an idea for shifting the attitude of employees toward their employers.  What if each one was to write an open letter….wonder what their message would be?

Here is an example:

Dear Valued Employer,

It is with great pleasure that I express my gratitude in writing to you, my valued employer.  I have had the privilege of working for you for two years, and in that time I have developed an appreciation for your leadership style.

You have been consistent in providing me with a clear understanding of my role in this position, including the scope of my responsibilities, your expectations of me, and your intentions for my future.

In support of my success in this role, you have provided me with all the tools and resources I need to do my job to the best of my ability, while pushing those abilities forward.

You encourage my growth and help prepare me for future success with a balance of hands-on mentoring and enough freedom and opportunity to problem solve on my own, create new systems, and learn through challenges and experiences you entrust to me.  

It is clear that you believe in hiring according to the principle of "Right person, right role," meaning that you are conscientious in your efforts to place people in the job that matches their experience level, particular skills and talents, and potential to grow.  You understand that being in the right position empowers each employee, and strengthens their opportunities for success.

I feel comfortable coming to you with new ideas because you are receptive to them, and treat me with respect even when you see flaws that I overlooked.  Your open door policy makes you accessible when I need you, and your clear thinking, direct approach and encouragement help me understand when to be autonomous and take responsibility for my actions and decisions.

You provide a clean, safe, comfortable workplace, free from harassment and petty politics, where I am able to discuss issues and communicate concerns without fear of retribution.  When discipline is necessary, you are fair and reasonable with each one of your employees.  Likewise, your reward system is just.

Your leadership cultivates integrity, respect and loyalty, which is a very big part of what I enjoy most about my job.

Based on industry research most employers believe their employees are motivated first by good wages, then by job security, with other factors following.  Asked to rank the top 10 motivators, most employers typically produce a list similar to this:

1. Compensation (wages and benefits)
2. Job security
3. Working conditions
4. Promotion and growth
5. Challenging work
6. Organizational loyalty
7. Constructive feedback
8. Sincere appreciation for and recognition of work produced
9. Personal interest in an employee's life
10. An employee's sense of inclusion regarding the direction of the company

My personal ranking is different, and you understand that.  Your leadership style is right in line with my list of priorities as an employee:

1. A sincere appreciation for and recognition of the work I produce
2. A sense of inclusion regarding the direction of the company
3. Your personal interest in my well being and success
4. A strong sense of job security, the tools and resources I need to foster respond-ability (my ability to respond to work situations)
5. A fair wage and excellent benefits that enable me to maintain a balanced, healthy quality of life
6. Challenging work
7. Clean, safe, well-equipped working conditions
8. Organizational loyalty
9. Promotion and growth within the company
10. Constructive feedback regarding how I'm doing

You understand what is important to me, and what keeps me passionate about my work.  You "get it."

Thank you for having the leadership skills to recognize how important it is to me to have a sense of achievement, recognition and respond-ability.

I am inspired by your leadership, motivated by your vision, and dedicated to succeeding in this position.

Sincerely,

Your Valued Employee

____________________________________________________

The Ice Chip is designed to have you want to learn more about empowering word choice. I sincerely hope you will seek out the extended lessons by clicking the Read more….. links.

Again, you can find much more about Remember the Ice in the The RTI Community, so have a look by clicking here.

Have a truly empowering week,

Bob

Ice Chip #52

This weeks’ Ice Chip is about focusing on the fundamentals.  Fundamentals like recognizing the adjustments you make when eradicating the “(k)notty words” and moving toward the Re-Framing Five.  If you have been following this dialogue, you know that the importance of removing the “not”, is the fundamental key.  This simple gesture opens the door for you to articulate your empowering message.  Embrace your Re-Framing Five: Do, Can, Will, Would, Could and enjoy the paradigm shifts that come with an empowered message.

The Adjustment Factor

As you learn more about empowering word choice and eradicating the “(k)notty words” you know you are traveling the path of re-education.  One of my recent coaching students shared his comments about the statement:  “I don’t have time.”

Larry chose this statement as one to work on.  His comment regarding eradicating the “not” centered on making adjustments in his thought process and his speaking. “It is a process of adjusting and remembering what I want. In the case of having time, there is enough time to do what I want when tasks are managed effectively.”

We used the simple four step process:

• Identify the "not":  I don't have time
• Expand "don't" to "do not"
• Cross out "not"
• You are left with "do"

And the end result is:  I do have time.  I have time to accomplish what I want to do.

Self Talk Olympic Style

It took Alexandre Bilodeau a little over 23 seconds to make Canadian history Sunday at Cypress. The first gold medal for Team Canada at the 2010 Olympic Winter Games, and the first gold medal for a Canadian athlete at an Olympic Games on home soil.

Before he and the other skiers took their breathtaking runs you could see them visualizing their moves, twists, jumps, arm motions, etc.  Ask yourself this question.  What is the key component of visualization?

It is the self talk you engage in.  For Alexandre Bilodeau, his self talk embraced the Re-Framing Five over and over as he visualized himself doing his Gold Medal winning jumps and moves.  I imagine he saw himself and heard himself saying over and over:  I can, I will. And when he completed his task, and won the Gold.  He must have thought, “I knew I could, I knew I would.  I did it!!”

The RTI Community…..

…is a classroom focused on empowering word choice.  If you would like to enroll just click here and find out more about this enlightening site.

Ask the readers:

I would like to ask for your input about topics for future Ice Chips.  What would you like to see discussed?  Have a scenario you would like some comments on? Just email me:  bob.nicoll@remembertheice.com

“(K)notty Word” Photo

Here is another example of a sign sharing a confusing message……

Remember to recharge your batteries!!

Have an empowered week,

Bob

Ice Chip #51

At Remember the Ice, we are passionate about paradigm shifts, eradicating “(k)notty words”, and helping you attract the life you want through empowering word choice.

We want to assist you in developing your repertoire of empowering alternatives.  The newest section of the website will be:

Ask the Word nerd.  How do I rephrase this?

You send in your phrase that has one of the “(k)notty words” in it, or a statement you would like to change, and we will offer an empowering alternative.  Think of it as an evolving Thesaurus for Empowering Word Choice.

Watch for this new page launch.

Recent events:

I had the honor of presenting at this event in Miami Beach.  The focus was on how to maximize your networking skills.   Get Connected 2010 was a great conference to attend. The value I received went way beyond the investment of time and money.  Over three days I had the privilege of hearing several top notch speakers and

• Learned how to network from the experts
• Learned how networking can increase business
• Learned how networking can increase profits
• Learned how networking can build and strengthen business relationships
• Met other business people and entrepreneurs from around the world

Would this kind of event be of interest to you?  We would be interested in hearing about your desire to present a program focusing on enhancing your networking skills.  Let me know.

Ask the readers:

I would like to ask for your input about topics for future Ice Chips.  What would you like to see discussed?  Have a scenario you would like some comments on? Just email me:  bob.nicoll@remembertheice.com

Your Ice Chips are an invitation to enter the world of empowering word choice.  The classroom for sharpening your communications skills is The RTI Community Take a moment to browse this ongoing, expanding haven of effective communication skills.  We look forward to seeing you there.

Here is an interesting thought:

It’s the juxtaposition of words that makes the message.

In the original story of rephrasing the sign in the convenience store from “Don’t forget the Ice” to “Remember the Ice”, it became very evident to me that the choice of words and specifically the juxtaposition of the words in a message would make all the difference.

In a closing comment, check out the juxtaposition in this message:

Super Bowl XLIV Champions – New Orleans Saints

In the last 43 years of professional football, who would have thunk it?  Congratulations to the Saints Organization and the City of New Orleans.  You have demonstrated the power of shifting your paradigm and demonstrated a powerful resolve.

Looking forward to your comments both on the website and in The RTI Community.

Empowering regards,

Bob

Ice Chip #50

Ask the "Word Nerd"

"How do I rephrase this?"

So here we are.  Celebrating our 50th Ice Chip!  Pretty exciting.

Hope you are enjoying the "chips".  I am in Miami Beach finishing up with a conference, and heading to Reno, Nevada for another speaking engagement on Tuesday morning to celebrate the 4th Annual International Networking Week.

Alright, what is this "word nerd" thing?

At the Miami Beach event, I realized that there are several people who wish they could send me a comment; "(k)notty word" phrase; question or anything with "nots" in it so I can offer them an empowering alternative.

So we came up with Ask the Word Nerd how to rephrase it.

Send me your requests:  bob.nicoll@remembertheice.com and they will be on the new web page (live on Friday).

I look forward to hearing from you.

Empowering regards,

Bob

PS.  Thank you to all of you who took a look at The RTI Community.  You can join for Free and get some of the content all year long.

If you want to have access to 258 "Pieces of Ice" you can experience a free 14 day trial of the Premium Membership.

Please use the code word:  founder (lower case)

and you will save 50% off the Premium Membership!