Ice Chip #53

Developing your Thesaurus of Empowering Words….

(Or letting go of another type of weight!)

Okay.  So you have been introduced to this idea of eradicating the “(k)notty words”.  You like it.  You know it makes sense.

Yet there is the confusing part of knowing what you want to say, and listening to yourself verbalize the “old version” of your comments.  You catch yourself, and get a bit frustrated.

Good!

This is that Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance “thing” coming into play.  If you have been following my pieces of ice; when you see red, the item is being highlighted as something to stay away from – to avoid.

When it is in blue, you want to move toward it. Yes, Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance is something you want to have happen.  It is the key to understanding how to incorporate empowering word choice into your word choice exercise regimen.

“(K)notty Words” are like that excess weight you want to release, extract, remove, eradicate, and just get rid of.

Recently, one of my coaching clients remarked, “Bob, the “(k)notty words” weigh me down.  When I reframe them, get rid of them and use the re-framing five, there is a big difference in my message.”

In addition to changing the language, there are the shifts in posture, breathing, eye movements; your overall physiology.  Your body language begins to fall in line with your word choice.

Remember when you may have heard me talk about how many people verbalize “yes”, yet their physiology is saying “no”  (the shaking of one’s head from side to side, when they really want to emphasize the affirmative.)  Talk about Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance.  Here is where you really want to make the shift and breakthrough the veil of incongruence.

Your exercise is simply this.

When you want to say something affirmative.  Have your physiology follow suit.

And keep developing your re-framing words.  Write them down.

If you have a question about a phrase and are wondering how to re-frame it, send it to me.  bob.nicoll@remembertheice.com

Enjoy your workout.  These are great exercises.

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And here is an idea for shifting the attitude of employees toward their employers.  What if each one was to write an open letter….wonder what their message would be?

Here is an example:

Dear Valued Employer,

It is with great pleasure that I express my gratitude in writing to you, my valued employer.  I have had the privilege of working for you for two years, and in that time I have developed an appreciation for your leadership style.

You have been consistent in providing me with a clear understanding of my role in this position, including the scope of my responsibilities, your expectations of me, and your intentions for my future.

In support of my success in this role, you have provided me with all the tools and resources I need to do my job to the best of my ability, while pushing those abilities forward.

You encourage my growth and help prepare me for future success with a balance of hands-on mentoring and enough freedom and opportunity to problem solve on my own, create new systems, and learn through challenges and experiences you entrust to me.  

It is clear that you believe in hiring according to the principle of "Right person, right role," meaning that you are conscientious in your efforts to place people in the job that matches their experience level, particular skills and talents, and potential to grow.  You understand that being in the right position empowers each employee, and strengthens their opportunities for success.

I feel comfortable coming to you with new ideas because you are receptive to them, and treat me with respect even when you see flaws that I overlooked.  Your open door policy makes you accessible when I need you, and your clear thinking, direct approach and encouragement help me understand when to be autonomous and take responsibility for my actions and decisions.

You provide a clean, safe, comfortable workplace, free from harassment and petty politics, where I am able to discuss issues and communicate concerns without fear of retribution.  When discipline is necessary, you are fair and reasonable with each one of your employees.  Likewise, your reward system is just.

Your leadership cultivates integrity, respect and loyalty, which is a very big part of what I enjoy most about my job.

Based on industry research most employers believe their employees are motivated first by good wages, then by job security, with other factors following.  Asked to rank the top 10 motivators, most employers typically produce a list similar to this:

1. Compensation (wages and benefits)
2. Job security
3. Working conditions
4. Promotion and growth
5. Challenging work
6. Organizational loyalty
7. Constructive feedback
8. Sincere appreciation for and recognition of work produced
9. Personal interest in an employee's life
10. An employee's sense of inclusion regarding the direction of the company

My personal ranking is different, and you understand that.  Your leadership style is right in line with my list of priorities as an employee:

1. A sincere appreciation for and recognition of the work I produce
2. A sense of inclusion regarding the direction of the company
3. Your personal interest in my well being and success
4. A strong sense of job security, the tools and resources I need to foster respond-ability (my ability to respond to work situations)
5. A fair wage and excellent benefits that enable me to maintain a balanced, healthy quality of life
6. Challenging work
7. Clean, safe, well-equipped working conditions
8. Organizational loyalty
9. Promotion and growth within the company
10. Constructive feedback regarding how I'm doing

You understand what is important to me, and what keeps me passionate about my work.  You "get it."

Thank you for having the leadership skills to recognize how important it is to me to have a sense of achievement, recognition and respond-ability.

I am inspired by your leadership, motivated by your vision, and dedicated to succeeding in this position.

Sincerely,

Your Valued Employee

____________________________________________________

The Ice Chip is designed to have you want to learn more about empowering word choice. I sincerely hope you will seek out the extended lessons by clicking the Read more….. links.

Again, you can find much more about Remember the Ice in the The RTI Community, so have a look by clicking here.

Have a truly empowering week,

Bob

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