Ice Chip #76

About two weeks ago, I received an interesting question from a new fan of Remember the Ice. Rick Rutledge from Houston, Texas is a long time friend of Mark Taylor, my fellow BNI Director (BNI Houston East) and original host of the Remember the Ice World Book Tour back in October 2008.

Mark made sure Rick received a copy of Remember the Ice and Other Paradigm Shifts and offered that a phone conversation could take place.  I enjoy speaking with folks who are interested in knowing more about utilizing the concepts of empowering word choice, so when Mark suggested I talk with Rick--well, heck yeah!

We had a great conversation about using the concepts.  How easy it is to see and hear the "(K)notty Words" and how at first, it seems to take more words to re-frame the message.  Then with some coaching, it actually becomes more succinct and efficient; because we do a better job of articulating what we would like to have happen.

In addition to being a successful attorney, Rick has a passion for coaching young men in the game of baseball. And we talked about how important articulation is in baseball.

Emphatically, yes!

Here is the email Rick sent on July 15th:

Bob,

Thinking back over "The Mental Game of Baseball" and continuing through your great book, here is the question that keeps coming to mind:

What is the difference between a "not" and "no".  For instance, what is the difference between saying, "No running" and "Don't run"?

I'd appreciate your comments, or maybe you could include them in an upcoming "Ice Chip".

By the way, I sent you a request on the web site to get on the email list for the weekly Ice Chips.  I look forward to getting those.

Thank you for considering my question, and have a great day.

Rick Rutledge

Well Rick, here is your Ice Chip and my comments on "No vs. Not".

In your example, saying "No running" expresses a wish for a specific behavior.  No Running.

No is an appropriate word in many circumstances.  It means a denial, refusal, or negative vote; a decision against something or a rejection of a notion or behavior.

"Don't run" initially suggests you want someone to stop running and walk instead; or stay put.  However, remember when you remove the "n't" you are left with:  Do run.

Wait a minute; that is "not” what I wanted you to do.  Oooops!  I did it again.

When you hear someone say:  Remember to focus on what you do want instead of what you don't want; that is an invitation for word juxtaposition disaster.

It would it in fact be better to say:  Remember to focus on what you do want to do. (Period)  (End of statement)

So when coaching your players on base running for example; if they are in a position to score from second base on a ball hit in the gap, have your third base coach wave them home, and perhaps say, "run hard", or "dig for home".

If you think the outfielder has a bullet-like throwing arm, then hold your arms up as a stop sign and tell your base runner to “hold-up" and motion for him to stop.  Or simply say over and over, "Stop at third".

The number one way to incorporate the concepts of Remember the Ice is to remind yourself to speak about what you want to have happen.

Tell me what you want me to do.

It was a pleasure visiting with you Rick.  Hope the rest of the readers enjoy this Ice Chip as well.

Empowering Regards,

Bob

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